inconvenient?

very much so.

my computer is broken.
i'm pretty sure its legit done for this time.

hasn't turned on in three days.
time to find a replacement. awesome.

nostalgia.

they say home is where the heart is.
I think I left my heart at the WHS auditorium.



I'm always overwhelmed with how much I miss that particular stage.
mostly though, it's the view from center stage. McKay auditorium can never compare.

tonight I enjoyed what will probably be my last opportunity for the next three years to see a show back at the ol' alma mater.

Thoroughly Modern Millie.
Phenomenal.
the performance blew me away. I was not expecting that.

you killed it kids, and you made me proud.
thank you.

desert island.

well, Matty Patty texted me today and said "read my blog and call me after you've made one"
made a what?
......

a "desert island cd" that is under 80 minutes.
what does that even mean?

songs I can't live without?
songs that would take me out of a bad mood from being on a deserted island?
songs I would want to share with the natives if I found them?


I highly doubt it's the third one, but I'm just sayin...

so I went with songs that fall under categories one and two.



You Be The Anchor- Mayday Parade
Glitter In The Air- Pink
Details In The Fabric- Jason Mraz
YES- LMFAO
Beauty In The Breakdown- The Scene Aesthetic
Let Go- Dave Lichens
The Way We Talk- The Maine
Boston- Augustana
Electric Feel- MGMT
Don't Stop Believin'- Journey
Grace Kelly-Mika
Brat Pack- The Rocket Summer
Painting Flowers- All Time Low
Banana Pancakes- Jack Johnson
She's So Lovely- Scouting For Girls
Hey Jude- The Beatles
Walcott- Vampire Weekend
Viva La Vida- Coldplay
Let it Be- The Beatles (I would use the Across The Universe version though)
Wannabe- Spice Girls
Where I've Been- Hairspray The Musical

"excuse me??"

late and delightful night with Case face, Tompkins, and Mitcharoo.
movies, b-dubs, 7-11, movie at Tompkin's house, Mitcharoo took me home.
oh wait, detour.

impromptu decision to continue the current and very strange conversation taking place in the car, proceed to drive ALL OVER Suckminster.

pull in drive-way, say goodnight, walk in back door, lights are on, newspaper on the counter.
the clock reads 5:34am.
Papa Bear is getting ready for work.

walk up the stairs, almost make it to the bedroom and hear:
"erin? when did you get in last night?"

"umm................................................right about now......"

"excuse me??"


explanation that Mitcharoo had just dropped me off after a long, necessary, "personal", serious talk. track of time was non-existent of course.

I love Mitcharoo. Mostly, I love that the parentals love Mitcharoo so much.

all opposition to plans or ideas ceases at the simple mention that Mitch will be there.
it's like magic :]

FANTASTIC.

I. Love. Her.

end of story.

is it weird that sometimes I genuinely want to be like that?
GloZell, not Kesha-hot-mess-nasty.

"chlorophyll? more like borophyll!"

[Billy Madison]
I need a job or something.
On Sunday, I cleaned the kitchen for kicks. Just because.
Here's a formula for being an epic failure at having a productive first week back home:


Mama Dean is in recovery and can't be left alone [Papa Bear is at work all day]
+
Having a television in your place of residence
+
98% percent of friends are not back in Suckminster or are in still in school
+
Internet access and websites like Stumbleupon.com
+
No money


also, I basically have no obligations at all aside from making sure Mama Dean is doin alright.
So I have nothing that actually needs to be accomplished. The thought of that would be marvelous except I no longer live across the street from the beach.
bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored.


Dear friends away at college,
Stop caring about school and come back to hangout with me.
Thanks :]

different.

"They" say you can't ever really come home. I kind of like that idea.
Since leaving home, every time I have come back it's been a very different experience.


Christmas had mostly heartache and sadness.
Summer had betrayal and loneliness but once I found a new niche had adventures and bliss.
Christmas [the second] had contentment and comfort.
Summer [the second] ... I guess I'll just have to wait and see.


Every single time I come home it's foreign and new but I'm slowly learning that I don't want to come back to my past. It's nice to visit the location, but I will no longer be holding on to the memories, the mentality, or the mediocrity of what this place used to hold.


I'm itching for the new.
I want it in hoards.
Time to find out what the next three months will bring.

hmmm.

I fly home in ten hours. I am still packing at 2:27. [ahem, taking a break to get on facebook and all that jazz at 2:27] I am so tired. Like, eyes drooping.

This ridiculous jumble of emotions and reactions to leaving is quite the hassle.
I haven't said goodbye to a lot of people. Mostly I care about those friends who will be leaving on missions. I am a terrible letter writer. Crap.

Ok but seriously, the most prominent emotion right now is relief. It tastes excellent.
While my stomach may be repulsed at the fact that I completely broke down and had an energy drink, [don't drink soda anymore and caffeine is not good to me now] my brain is still all about that glorious sigh that unloads all the stress of the day.

number one: Mama Dean is doin' well folks.
her surgery went well and she's spending the night in the hospital, but I'm pretty sure she'll be home by the time I get there.

number two: the semester is done.
I'm a little ridiculously nervous about it. Ned can suck it. I really enjoyed taking his class, but the stress and his expectations are just too much. And the theater final? Let's just say I'd be perfectly happy never finding out that score. But it is now over and I get to relax for three months :]

number three: I'm surprised at how much I've gotten done to prepare for flying back.
don't get me wrong, there are a million things left, but I was expecting to have to work through the night.



back to work I suppose.

lists,

what happened??

why do you no longer bring joy but instead obligations???

I miss looking at you with irrational amounts of pleasure

now I look at you and see depression and restraint; the catalyst that prevents me from being free.


but as it turns out, in finals week a planner with detailed lists on every single day is a girl's best friend.

whoa, step back. let's not get carried away. that's what we call a momentary lapse of judgment, or just speaking too soon.
I'll give it the title of "way to cope" or "only thing preventing me from failing at life"
but the finals week lists will never be among my cluster of friends and things I hold dear.

uncomfortable.

question: have you ever realized how incredibly thin each layer of your skin is?
when a sunburn peels off, it departs in slices that put every deli-meat slicing master to shame.
thin enough that when held between two fingers it is almost possible to still feel the grooves on your fingertips through the teeny tiny layer of skin.
we're talking thin like the amount of ice my roommate is treading on with my temper.
thinner than a popped balloon.
it's really thin okay!


today i peeled a LITERAL millimeter thick piece of skin off the bottom of my foot.
turns out that when the material is something is as thin as human skin, a millimeter is quite a substantial amount.

pain.

alot.



Dear Bottom-of-your-foot-blisters,
it's so nice to welcome you to your new and well-earned place on the list of things Erin really really hates. Thank you so much for your efforts at being noticed. They have indeed succeeded.

dang.

there is something beautifully bitter-sweet about discovering a new favorite place six days before going home.

today is the final saturday for my winter semester 2010 experience.
my walls are bare, my bags are packed [ok, only one] and I'm getting antsy folks.

siiiiiiiick!

in the best way possible.
[the video below of course]

I'm just gonna keep the posts coming, cuz you know, that's just the way I wanna do it.

BACKGROUND:
the guys golf team at my school made this video of them making shots in the dorm lounges. they are incredible! just tryin to help em make it big :]

WATCH! seriously, it's amazing

cheerful.

I firmly believe that no matter how horrible my mood or how disastrous my day, Gerbera Daisies will never fail to make me happy.

beautiful.

shoutout!!!

today is a special day.
it's April Fools!
but more imprtantly...

Happy Birthday Eric Kokkola :]

to the other maybe three people that read this, you should check out his blog here.
amazing way with words
comical stories
and best of all, incredible taste in music.
i listen to as much of what he mentions as i can get my hands on.
check it fo sho.


in other news:

- acting class performance FINALLY OVER!
- research paper finished and ready to be turned in
- brain ready to explode from mixed emotions/ stress


Dear minivan,
get excited, because your favorite driver will be home in nine days. she cannot wait to get behind your steering wheel and to be ready to back out of the driveway for the first ride of the summer. she anxiously awaits the moment that she can turn the key, blast the radio, roll down the windows, and most of all be rekindle that special bond you two have.

it will be a special day.