why?

according to good ol' Merriam-Webster, the definition of indecision is

a wavering between two or more possible courses of action

so I have this thing about words and analyzing their literal meaning and connotation and what they can imply and why each word is chosen as opposed to the millions of other possibilities.

"wavering"

that is the perfect word to describe my current indecision. it's not just that I can't figure out what to do with the next year. this is what happens in my indecision:
there are about three or four definitive and detailed courses of action that I have planned out for the next year. one day I discuss the details of these options with various people [friends, parents, siblings, roommates] and I dwell on all the aspects of that course in relation to the others and I dwell on it and pray about it and I decide, this is what I am going to do. I have my answer.
two days later, I have a moment or conversation that takes me completely by surprise and makes me think holy bananas, what was I thinking, it's so clear that course 1 was not correct and that course 2 or 3 is the clear and obvious route I should take.

can I just ask one question about this?
why??
I would much prefer to be equally confused everyday rather than fooled into thinking I can actually make a decision about my own life.

to the people that read this, I'm sorry this has been such a continuous theme for my blog lately but this is my place for expression right? and indecision is the only thing on my mind lately. it has taken over my brain and life and thoughts.

I think I want guidance right now more than I've ever wanted anything.