fail.

hey friends, it's been a while.
I'd say I was busy... but really I just had nothing to say.

this semester has been somewhat bitter-sweet.
I didn't want to even come back to school this semester so that I could work and save up for my mission, but I accepted that I had to come back. I tried to sign myself up for classes that I still needed but wouldn't add significantly to the stress of being here. I still had my job to add fun and money to the semester. I even got excited at the possibility of new things to come while I was back home for christmas.
but then I came back, and about two weeks in, I fell into a serious funk. the semester has had numerous good times and enjoyable, memorable moments, but most of them superficial. in addition:
I have been sick so many times this semester. cold/cough. back problems. strep. mono. cold/cough again. it's insane. the play I was in took up all of my free time in weekends making it impossible to do anything really worthwhile with friends or get out of laie. I spent the majority of the past months in serious anxiety stressing over whether to stay for spring. my mind has been completely out of focus and I've had no motivation to better myself at all the past three months.

it's awful.

I don't think I've ever wasted so much of my own time in my life. I've barely been productive, I've barely done anything fun, I've barely spent enough time with the people I love.


I'm sitting here right now, thinking about the fact that there are two weeks left in the semester, wondering what the hell I've done with my time and how it went by so quickly.